How to spot a Gold Digger: A message to Men


My male friends often send me Whatsapp or BBM messages of distress…  about girlfriend or ‘side kick’ issues. The latest SOS was from a friend who has recently started dating a new girl. His new girl in the two months he has known her, has made some over the top demands on him, enough to break the bank. Requests like paying for her weaves ($500) to buying her expensive designer dresses ($500) , shoes ($400).

Last night he asked for my advice on his dilemma. Should he bow down to all her whims and desires or should he dump her because she is showing signs of a class A gold digger?

It’s important to make a clear distinction on who a gold digger really is. All too often men are too quick to label girls as gold diggers when they start to make demands which weighs heavily on their wallets. A Gold digger is a woman or man who is in love with your money and is dating you purely because you can provide for all her material needs.

Do not be surprised if your new girlfriend expects you to pay for items you think her father, brother  or a husband should pay for. If you are happy to sleep with her and enjoy the benefits that a husband enjoys on demand, then get ready to take on the responsibilities which may come with it. Why are you complaining?

Forget the independent woman theory, that she is working and earning a good living. Call me old fashion, but if you haven’t ‘wifed’ the girl you’re sleeping with and she’s making economic demands on you, then stop complaining and pay up. Why  label her a ‘Gold digger’?

Why will you sleep  with a woman and then call  her as a ‘Gold digger’ when she wants some new clothes and shoes and asks that you pay for them?  Are you not enjoying all the privileges that married men  who’ve paid a pretty penny in dowry fees enjoy? You’re lucky the demands on you are in installments and not a lump sum. For anyone versed in banking you’d know that it would be cheaper to pay the lump sum because interest on the installments is high and risky.

So the next time you think of labeling a decent woman who you’re sleeping with a Gold digger ask yourself what sort of demands are you making on her? Are you sleeping with her, is she cooking, cleaning and taking care of some of your needs like a wife? If so then quietly provide for the needs she requests. As long as she meets your needs, be gracious enough to meet hers.

It is not gold digging, you are in a relationship!


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